Photo Credit: NBC This is Us Facebook
It’s impossible not to reflect on what we’ve lost, what we have, and what we hope for after watching the emotionally-charged Thanksgiving-themed episode of “This is Us” that aired on Nov. 22 on NBC. It’s also impossible to quantify the amount of heart this incredible cast and crew continue to deliver on what can arguably be branded the best, most important show currently on television. Calling it “tremendous” and “spectacular” and “heartwarming” doesn’t seem broad enough in scope.
“This Is Us” cuts straight to the heart, every single time and leaves us wanting more, more, more. It’s been a long time since a family drama made us feel so many things on so many levels. On the eve of the one holiday that’s geared toward gathering with loved ones and giving thanks, this week’s episode is an extra-special gift.
Thanksgiving, for most of us, is steeped in family traditions; whether it’s making Grandma’s secret recipe pumpkin pie or playing board games after dinner. It’s about the place we gather and who we share a table with. For many of us, it’s one time we specifically pause to look at the people we are with and say what we’re thankful for. Some of us rattle off a chain of common phrases like good health, happiness, family, food, and financial stability. Those are all wonderful, worthy things to be thankful for. But, this episode urges us to dig deeper than that.
In William’s poignant conversation with Olivia, when she asks him what it’s like to be dying, he tells her he tries to capture all the moments – the pieces of life flying by all around him – his granddaughter’s breath sleeping against him, the sound of Randall’s laughter, rolling up from within. Sadly, he knows he’s running out of time. He wisely points out to Olivia none of us have all the time we think we’re going to have. He’s right.
The question for all of us becomes: What are we going to do about that? How are we going to spend our minutes, our days, our hours? Life is fleeting. We are babies then suddenly we are 12, 35, 47, 65, 82, and 90, if we’re lucky. In the social media age, can we pause long enough to be in the moment we’re in instead of agonizing about capturing a shot, posting it, and obsessing about how many likes and comments we’ll collect? Can we stop and really appreciate what we’re doing and who we’re doing it with? Can we pick a day to unplug and leave our cell phones in a basket by the door?
Life rolls by us in the small moments and grand adventures and everything in between. How do we experience it? How do we cherish our time and make our loved ones feel cherished? In the end, how we act towards others is how we’ll be remembered by the people we’ve interacted with along the way.
Love is more than a feeling. Love is a verb. It’s an action. It’s writing a note of encouragement for your child’s lunchbox. It’s holding your friend while she sobs about the worst loss of her life. It’s calling your grandma to check in. It’s making your spouse dinner at the end of the day. It’s in a random act of kindness toward a stranger. The capacity to love lies within all of us – but, love doesn’t “materialize” until we share it through our words and actions.
When William urges Olivia to be thankful for being given pie by a man who adores her, again, he’s so right! Which also begs us to consider if we are putting up unnecessary walls around others. Are we judging others too harshly? Are we too busy harboring bitterness and past regrets to set aside our differences and appreciate all that we have and everyone who is standing right in front of us in the here and now?
As a writer, I marvel at the unique storytelling format of this series – how the past and the present are brilliantly intertwined and how the past informs so many of the moments these characters are presently in. Mandy Moore and Milo Ventimiglia have incredible chemistry and they excel at making Rebecca and Jack so undeniably human.
How many of us have been in their shoes, making the “obligatory” journey to a family dinner that is chock full of dysfunctional relationships and cutting, passive-aggressive remarks that are passed around the table with the turkey and stuffing? Poor Kate hates her itchy sweater and we don’t blame her! Why do we often box ourselves into completely uncomfortable situations with people who choose to bring us and others down? The kids are brutally honest that they hate Thanksgiving and thankfully, their declaration is a huge wake up call for Rebecca.
The unexpected tire blowout saves their whole day! They walk 3.4 miles to find gas station hot dogs and the Pilgrim Rick-helmed lodge. Jack, once again, makes lemonade out of lemons and they have a wonderful, magical night. It makes a huge impression on Randall, because he copies that night to a “T” for his family every year. How sweet is that? Sniff, sniff!
Thanksgiving has always been difficult for my mom, because she lost her dad on Thanksgiving Day just after she turned 13. Nearly six decades later, she’s never gotten over the loss. Much like the “This Is Us’” Big 3, she adored her dad. I never met my grandpa but I think of him often and wish he could’ve met my son. I take comfort that he’s with with my grandma, who we lost back in 1992, and my uncle, who we lost five years ago.
We lost my Grandma Ruth, on my dad’s side, almost three years ago. We all miss her. She was the “guest of honor” at our family gathering every year and now her place at the table is empty. In fact, the number of people at our family table is a lot smaller than it used to be. Still, I thank God for every minute of every hour of every day I get to share with each of them.
This Thanksgiving Day, I thank God for every member of my family and for my wonderful friends. I thank God for my son and the many phases of life he’ll experience in the future. My biggest hope is that I get to share as many of them with him as possible. And that we share more smiles than tears and more rainbows than storms. Most of all, I hope he meets someone someday who loves him fiercely, enough to give him “pie” when he needs it most, who will also help him make new traditions of his own.